I am the man
in the fedora
I never miss a punch-
Line. Too fast with my Magnum
Force. Always out-smarting the
Nazi-Scum. I flew over that
Cuckoo's
Nest and I survived
The journey 20,000 leagues
Under the sea, I led
the people up
Through the upside-down ship.
I battled the Great White
And the dragon called The Press.
I like my drinks shaken not stirred,
My women strong not Afraid of defeat,
Submission? Me? Hell, little
darlin'...
I've raced against time, not caring about
What was
following me that Night I
Walked down that darkened street?
The Killer
thought he has caught me in my
Own trap, but I am always the clever one.
I always get my man, my woman, my It,
My body--some say--is curved like
Time
My face--some say-- is rugged like
The Sands of the Sahara where
The soldiers await my command and
Conquer the Mastermind of deception with
His tricks and his booby traps. I am the
Captain of the starship to boldly
go
Where no man has gone
Before the vilagers can be saved, I must
Find the treasure, then use it to pay off
The Kidnappers Who Have Taken My
Daughter.
Give me a few minutes and I will
Save the passengers on the
plane,
Detatch the bomb and Hand out the parachutes
So we may jump
over the lava pit,
Swing from a vine and run from the beasts
In the
Darkness where the poltergeists hide,
Waiting to scare away my family.
I am the Exorcist, the Witch-hunter, the
Babysitter Who Lives Miraculously
in the End...
In the End I win. I always win.
And I get to kiss my
lover, ride away in the sunset,
Live forever, unscathed, because
I am
the celluloid traveller.
I'll be here when you need me most,
And I
won't forget my fedora.
