Movie Reviews by Shaggy Bob

Star Trek: First Contact (1996)

Shaggy Bob may possibly have the biggest ego, but it's backed with the wisdom beyond any mortal means. He has answers to all questions. And he's never wrong. Well, so we are lead to believe. And don't let him get started on "women -- source of all evil" or else you'll never hear the end. You've been warned.

Have you noticed that right after you get your clothes back from dry cleaners, they attract stains? And only for first week or so. Then you never spill anything on the dirty clothes again. I swear there must be a conspiracy going on around here. I bet the dry cleaners add stain attracting chemicals on your clothes that last about a week or so. Of course, if you keep it in the closet, it won't attract dirt until you first put it on again.

Speaking of conspiracies, STAR TREK: FIRST CONTACT came out so I had to go check it out. It's the latest of the Star Trek movie series. This time around, the Federation's arch enemy come knocking on the front door so of course Star Trek: The New Generation crew must come to the rescue. And they go through the trekkie techno babble along the way just to save not only earth but the whole world as we know it.

No nakkid boobs. 33 bullets. Ship loads of dead bodies. 32 on the vomit meter. No moon shots. What we got here are: attack of the killer borg-fu, drill to the eye-fu, implant-fu, dreams from hell-fu, attack of killer comet-fu, targetting of non essential area-fu, techno babble-fu, futile resistance-fu, ankle grab-fu, attack of bullet proof body-fu, touchy feeling-fu, tequila shots-fu, bad whisky-fu, and of course, more techno babble-fu. Video hall of fame nominations to: James Cromwell for saying stuff like "Engage" and to Alice Krige for saying stuff like "You strive to be imperfect?" and to Brent Spiner for saying stuff like "You mean sexually?" Of course to Gates McFadden for saying stuff like "captain has made his decision" and to Alfre Woodard for saying stuff like "captain Ahab" and to Michael Dorn for saying stuff like "it made me sick to my stomach". And we can never forget Marina Sirtis for saying stuff like "This is a primitive society" and to Patrick Stewart for saying stuff like "I will make them pay!" and to Jonathan Frakes for saying stuff like "you mean you told him" and to Levar Burton for saying stuff like "that's funny". Three and a half stars. Shaggy Bob says wicked!

Spoilers -- Another one of the Borg ship heads to earth to assimilate. Jean Luc is placed out of the loop because the higher up things he's a liability. Of course, he proves all the higher ups wrong and saves the day. In defeat, escaping Borg ship time travels and attack earth in the past. Hmm... didn't Cyberdine System 101 and T1000 try to do something like that? Anyhow, the Enterprise and her crew follows and prevents altering of time line and saves the world from being conquered by the Borg. All the cameo by people from the different series adds flavor to the flick. But you really do need to follow the TV series to fully appreciate the little quirks and inside humor.

If you're waiting for the phone call from Paulina Porizkova, take the cell phone and go see this movie. If you follow Star Trek at all, I doubt I'll even have to say that.

Alien Alert! Why do politicians like to make people's lives difficult? And why do we elect these people who try their darnest to make our lives miserable? For example, the another freeway is coming down but may not be replaced. Gee, that makes spending what, extra 40 min on the surface road instead of extra 20 min the commuters spend now. And if there were freeway system as it was furst intended, we would be saving all that time for something more constructive than sitting in the car, getting aggrivated by the BMW who just cut you off. No wonder people go postal.

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