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Alien Resurrection

movie review by Shaggy Bob


There I was, chillin' as usual and what do I see? I saw people pushing elevator buttons even after it's been pressed. I mean it's clearly lit up and indicated that it was pushed. But people then come up to the button and have to push it. Like if it's going to make the elevator move any faster. Go figure.

Speaking of idiosyncratic things people do, Alien Resurrectioncame out so I had to check it out. It's about this alien creature coming to life because of some idiot and people start dying because of this. Yup, if you saw the first one, you won't have any problem understanding this one -- aliens bad, humans good, some humans really bad.

Two nakkid prosthetic boobs. 98 bullets. 18 dead bodies. 63 on the vomit meter. No moon shots. What we got here are: vivisection in space where no one can hear you scream-fu, webbed dress from hell-fu, attack of sliding arm weapon-fu, attack of killer home brew- fu, rock scotch-fu, ultimate one on one-fu, knife of acid resistance- fu, regular incompetent armed guards-fu, shock treatment from cold- fu, 3 aliens in one place-fu, attack of the killer blood-fu, and of course escape pod that ain't no escape pod-fu. Video Hall of Fame nominations to Winona Ryder for sayin' stuff like "what did you put in this shit, battery acid?", and to Sigouney Weaver for sayin' stuff like "I knew you couldn't be so humane to be a human", and to Ron Perlman for sayin' "stuff like "it must be a chick thing" Two and a half stars. Shaggy Bob says wicked!

Spoilers -- Ok, so what if it didn't live up to the hype of the trailers? It still was a pretty decent flick. They went back to the format closer to that of the first movie, making it more of horror flick rather than shoot 'em up bug hunt flick. And I'm amazed that Sigourney Weaver still can handle the aliens even after 20 years (200 years in the movie term).

If you're waiting for that phone call from Kimberly Warren, I might consider taking the pager. But if she stared in to your eyes and said she'll call you, well, I might sit by the phone then.

Alien Alert! What's this with some kid shooting up people in school? I bet we're going to blame the society for one deranged kid's behavior. Ok, so it was sad for the dead and the wounded but you can't relieve people of responsibilities of their own actions. The kid knew what he was doing. He did it. Now he has to pay for it. Of course I've always said solutions are easy -- and they are.


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