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Tomorrow Never Dies

movie review by Shaggy Bob

Bob, Shaggy Bob. And I have a license to drive, unlike some people. Just the other day, I was trying to go through one of 'em drive through car washes and the guy in front of me drove over the railing so he was no longer going to be pulled by the track thing. No wonder streets are less safe these days.

Speaking of things futile things people do, Tomorrow Never Dies came out so I had to check it out. It's the 18th James Bond, 007 flick. Yup, there's this tyrant who wants to dominate the world. And yup, James Bond saves the world again. Yup, there are whole mess of cool gadgets. Yup, there are cool stunt sequences. And yup, 007 gets his girl too.

No nakkid boobs. 427 bullets. Score + whole lots more of dead bodies. 37 on the vomit meter. No moon shots. What we got here are: shopping mall from hell-fu, attack of trigger happy military-fu, recall code-fu, lighter from hell-fu, ultimate plane cargo-fu, surface to surface missile-fu, chicken on the runway-fu, back seat driver from hell-fu, flyby-fu, ugly duckling torpedo-fu, counter measure- fu, snuf movie-fu, ultimate Oxford trip-fu, and of course don't ask don't tell policy-fu. Video Hall of Fame nominations to: Michelle Yeoh as Wai Lin for sayin' stuff like "I snuck in" and to Teri Hatcher as Paris Carver for sayin' stuff like "Did I get too close for comfort?" and to Jonathan Pryce as Elliot Carver for sayin' stuff like "It doesn't happen to me" and to Pierce Brosnan as you know who for sayin' stuff like "I'm brushing up on a little Danish", and of course to Joe Don Baker for sayin' stuff like "you didn't hear me mention that." Three stars. Shaggy Bob says wicked!

Spoilers -- Jonathan Pryce is a media mongrel. He wants to be the first to report the news so he makes the news. Of course there's no news like bad news. And James Bond is there to prevent the empires from striking back at each other. And this time around, he got a little help from his counterpart from China by the way of Michelle Yeoh. No she doesn't kick butt like most of her movies but hey, she's next to James Bond. If you're waiting for the phone call from Lisa Dresica, just admit that she's not going to call, and enjoy your free time by perhaps checking out this flick.

Alien Alert! What's the hoopla about Janet Reno not starting some independent investigation on the campaign funding stuff? She got the facts and the reports available. And according to them, there's not enough to start an investigation. She's trying to save us some money. I guess only thing GOPs are good for are the ways they spend money on useless things.

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