{short description of image}

The Replacement Killers

movie review by Shaggy Bob

Have you ever noticed that if you ever plan a trip, the weather never really cooperates? It's much better to just go places on a whim. Of course that might hamper with higher prices and stuff. But hey, you're supposed to be on a vacation.

Speaking of being snowed in, Replacement Killers came out so I had to go check it out. It's about this guy who owes a mob boss so he becomes a hitman for the boss. Well, the dude refuses the contract due to moral conflicts and well, now he becomes a target himself.

No nakkid boobs. 29 dead bodies. 457 bullets. 31 on the vomit meter. No moon shots. What we got here are: flash dance-fu, attack of killer decorated cartilage-fu, shattered glass-fu, coke cans from hell-fu, swan dive-fu, b-ball-fu, attack of killer ghost-fu, car- wash from hell-fu and of course video game parlor-fu. Video Hall of Fame nominations to Michael Rooker as Detective Stan Zedkov for saying stuff like "They saved my butt" and to Kenneth San as Mr. Wei, ruthless mob boss for sayin' stuff like "Earn what you were paid for" and to Jergen Prochnow for saying stuff like "It would be a pleasure." And of course to Mira Sorvino as Meg Coburn, document forger for sayin' stuff like "What did you get me in to" and to Chow Yun-Fat as John Lee, master assassin on the run for sayin' stufff like "I will miss you." Two and a half stars. Shaggy Bob says wicked!

Spoilers -- The mob boss's kid put up a fight during arrest and gets killed. So the mob boss wants to kill the kid of the arresting police officer. Well, the boss threatens this guy's family so he'll become a hitman for the boss. Hmmm. There seems to be something wrong here. Anyhow, the rest of the story works pretty well. And of course Mia is still gorgeous as ever. If you're waiting for that phone call from Adele Stephens, take the cell phone with you. But if she doesn't know you exist, she won't call so go check it out to keep your mind off of her.

Alien Alert! You know, if we were smart about the whole thing, we could just look the other way on the Persian Gulf issue. Think about it -- the technology is there to pretty much eliminate our dependance on foreign oil. And that's what we're really fighting for -- oil. But oil companies won't supply new fuel until car companies build cars and car companies won't build until fuel is available. It's just matter of simple greed that's hurting everyone.

Discuss in the Eclectica Forum! -or- Read more Eclectica Movie Reviews

GoTo TOCE-Mail the AuthorRandom Link!