The Flowers Convention
Article I
In the present life where many forget the importance of flowers and flowering, any of the following acts committed with intent shall declare one a flower:
(a) Greeting poppies regardless of season. A flower knows where fellow flowers grow even when not in season.
(b) Addressing others as flowers: for example, dear Waterlily or beloved Bird of Paradise, in whole or in part.
(c) Spreading your fingers wide to expose the fennel in you.
(d) Nodding to sentient and non-sentient beings as an expression of wind freedom.
(e) Matching the opening and closing of daisies in the morning and evening.
(f) Using words as swords to lure others to beauty and kindness like irises and sword lilies.
(g) Hugging your enemies as if they were a rhododendron bud about to unfurl.
(h) Huddling in a hydrangea manner to provide protection and warmth.
(i) Speaking words spiced with jasmine and in the tone that only the evening and wind know.
(j) Cursing in the language of tulips: dark nights, ice lolly, purple prince, and other tulipish profanities.
(k) Killing others softly using rose petals. (Poking with thorns is anti-flower.)
(l) Clambering above intolerance and divisions using bougainvillea and ivy tactics.
Article II
The following acts shall not be punishable:
(a) Direct and public smelling of flowers.
(b) Public speaking to flowers.
(c) Attempts to treat flowers as fellow species.
(d) Conspiring with bees by not mowing grass.
(e) Complicity in the spread of wildflowers by refusing to weed out.
(f) Admitting to excess love by overwatering.
